Cheering appropriately

Ok...little Johnny just made a terrific pass. You, like the proud supporting parent you are, shout out, "WAY TO GO!" or "AWESOME PLAY!" Better yet, you see that an opponent is wide open, cutting down the middle towards the goal. You help the team out by shouting, "WHO'S GOT NUMBER 15? THEY'RE WIDE OPEN!"

Did you really deserve that withering look from your little player, making it clear that your vocal support is about as welcome as a zit on the tip of their nose on prom night?

Well.... yes.

If you've been a soccer mom longer than 5 minutes you've noticed your vocal support (that would be cheering) is not always welcome by the player, the coaches, and the ref. There are some good reasons why:

· From the player - well, that's obvious. You're the parent and, therefore, you know nothing. Besides, it's embarrassing to be seen having parents.

· Coaches point out that parental instruction and calling the player's name confuses and distracts the player. The coach expects to be the only one calling plays on the field and the players need to be attentive to his voice.

· Refs get huffy when you question their calls - or yell out that they missed a call (usually against the other team). You can actually be thrown off the field if you get too loud in this category.

So how can you cheer at your kid's soccer game and not get in trouble?

· Never single out a player - When you cheer, cheer for the team. Use the team named or the color of the jerseys. For instance, "Go Strikers!" or "Great move Blue!" Do not say, "Great move, Ashley!"

· Keep it general - Don't point out specific problems (the coach should be handling that). Instead of yelling, "Forwards, you're playing too far up, get back..." Yell something like, "OK blue, stay strong!"

· Keep it positive - Never yell out negative cheers - no matter how poorly the team or an individual plays. Really, the team or the player knows when something didn't work; they don't need you to point it out to them. This is when the team needs encouragement. Things like "Bad luck!", "Stay strong!", or "Let's get it back!" let's the team know you're behind them.
 Don't question the ref - out loud that is. Mistakes are made, life isn't fair, and referees are human. I'm not saying the quality of the referee is not important to the quality of the game, and, especially at the higher levels, the safety of the players. I am saying that there's nothing you can do about it during a game, and, if you push it, you can be banned from the game, or even multiple games. Save any indignation for an email to the Soccer Association, where it may help, if enough parents email, to get that referee kicked back to under 8s league.

Stick to these rules and you'll be in good shape...at lease with the coaches and refs. For your own kids, ah well, depending on the age, they'll only be happy if you drive them to the field and wait for them in the car. I suggest negotiation...you'll only drive them if you're allowed to cheer...but you promise you'll keep it to a dull roar and triple promise you won't use their name.

When it gets too hard to stick to these rules; the game gets exciting, or you just have to point out that your player needs to stay to the right so the same person won't get by them for the tenth time, try distracting yourself. Walk around the field. If there are other games going on at the same time, watch one of those. Call someone on your cell phone...anything. Bring your camera and take pictures. Anything. The coach, refs, and maybe even you kid will appreciate your efforts.